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Self-confident and assertiveness are two skills that are crucial for success in life. If you don’t feel worthy, and/or you don’t know how to express your self-worth when communicating with others, life can be very painful. These skills will provide opportunities and benefits to your participants in their professional and personal lives. The Assertiveness And Self-Confidence workshop will give participants an understanding of what assertiveness and self-confidence each mean (in general and to them personally) and how to develop those feelings in their day-to-day lives. These skills will encompass many aspects of your participant’s lives and have a positive effect on all of them.

Active Listening

  • open Questions

Open questions stimulate thinking and discussion or responses including opinions or feelings.  They pass control of the conversation to the respondent. Leading words in open questions include: Why, what, or how.


  • clarifying Questions

A clarifying question helps to remove ambiguity, elicits additional detail, and guides the answer to a question. 

  • Closed Questions

Closed questions usually require a one-word answer, and effectively shut off discussion. Closed questions provide facts, allow the questioner to maintain control of the conversation, and are easy to answer. 

Creating Positive Self-Talk

  1. Use the present tense; deal with what exists today.

  2. Be positive – rather than affirming what you don’t want. 

  3. Remain personal; self-talk must relate to you and you only.

  4. Keep sentences short and simple.

  5. Go with your gut. If it “clicks”, then just say it. Self-talk should feel positive, expanding, freeing, and supporting.

  6. Focus on new things, rather than changing what is.

  7. Act “as if”; give yourself permission to believe the idea is true right now. 

Setting SMART Goals

SMART is a convenient acronym for the set of criteria that a goal must have in order for it to be realized by the goal achiever. 

  • Specific: In order for someone to achieve a goal, they must be very clear on what they want. Often, creating a list of benefits from the accomplishment of the goal will give them a compelling reason to pursue that goal.

  • Measurable: It’s crucial for goal achievement that goal setters are able to track their progress towards the goal. 

  • Achievable: Setting big goals is great, but setting unrealistic goals will just de-motivate you. A good goal is one that challenges, but is not so unrealistic that the person has virtually no chance of accomplishing it.

  • Relevant: Before you even set goals, it’s a good idea to sit down and define your core values and your life and career purposes. These tools will help the person set goals that matter to them.

  • Timed: Without setting deadlines for goals, the goal setter will have no real compelling reason or motivation to start working on them.

Goals should also include the three P’s:Positive, Personal, Possible

First Impressions Count

  • Body language.Remember that body language makes up to 55% of a communication.

  • Dress and grooming.It's less about your budget, and more about clean, pressed and event-appropriate clothing with neat grooming.

  • Handshake.Use a medium to firm handshake grip, avoiding a week, one handshake or overly firm one that can cause potential discomfort to another.

  • Body Movement.Use a mirror, or enlist the help of a friend to make sure that your movements are not overly active --and that they support the nature of your message.

It’s How You Say It

The STAR Model

S = Situation

First, state what the situation is. Try to make this no longer than one sentence. If you are having trouble, ask yourself, “Where?” “Who?” and “When?”

T = Task

Next, briefly state what your task was. Again, this should be no longer than one sentence. Use the question, “What?” to frame your sentence, and add the “Why?” if appropriate.

A = Action

Now, state what you did to resolve the problem in one sentence. Use the question, “How?” to frame this part of the statement.

R = Result

Last, state what the result was. This will often use a combination of the six roots.

  • Breathe from your diaphragm

  • Drink plenty of water to stay hydrated; avoid caffeine because of its diuretic effects

  • Posture affects breathing, and also tone of voice, so be sure to stand up straight

  • To warm up the tone of your voice, smile

  • If you have a voice that is particularly high or low, exercise it’s by practicing speaking on a sliding scale. 

  • Record your voice and listen to the playback

  • Deeper voices are more credible than higher pitched voices. Try speaking in a slightly lower octave. It will take some practice, but with a payoff, just as radio personalities have learned

  • Enlist a colleague or family member to get feedback about the tone of your voice.

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